Chapter 3 Building a Kite
One day, while flying his kite in the park, Freddy was approached by a girl.
Wendy: “What is that that you are flying?”
Freddy: “It is a kite.”
Wendy: “Can I try?”
Freddy hesitated but greed to share. He trusted Wendy and taught her the basics. Wendy and Freddy would either fly the kite together or take turns to fly the kite. They coordinated well and had great fun.
Wendy: “Freddy, what if I have my own kite?”
Freddy: “That is a great idea. You should ask your parents to buy you a kite.”
Wendy begged her parents to buy her a kite. Sadly, they refused. So, Freddy and Wendy smashed their piggy banks in hopes that they would have enough money. Unfortunately, $6 was not sufficient. Hence, Freddy asked his parents for help.
Mother: “There must be a reason as to why Wendy's parents would not buy her a kite. We do not know the reasons and should not meddle with other people's affairs. Besides, why would we give away our hard-earned money to another parents' child? We cannot help her.”
Father: “People are random and do not need solid reasons to do anything. Acknowledge their reasons but do not let them affect your motivation.”
“Nevertheless, we should be grateful that these people cared about what we do and acknowledged our existences. Be thankful for their opinions. Good or bad, we have the power to improvise it. Remember, the most ruthless people are those who completely ignore our existences and ignore our purpose of achieving something.”
“It is great that you have found a friend who loves doing what you do and has the same vision as you. The essence of such a special human connection is rare and should be treasured.”
“Indeed, we are not in the position to help, not because we are selfish but because you and Wendy have the inner abilities to figure out a solution. Seek knowledge. Learn to build tools and skills to develop solutions. You need to be hungry. Hungry enough to push forward.”
“Before focusing on getting a kite, you have to understand why Wendy wants her very own kite. What is the main purpose? Is it because you weren't sharing your kite with her? Or it is because she dislike your kite? You need to know that to find the correct solution.”
“Once you have understood the main purpose, focus your energy not on the problem but on the solution. Do not let the problem itself define your next actions. If you don't view it as a problem, there will not be any limitations.”
With that in mind, Freddy thanked his parents and talked to Wendy.
Wendy: “My parents said that it was pointless. It was not something worth playing like baseball or tennis.”
Freddy: “People can express their opinions but do not let that affect us. Only you would know if kite flying is truly pointless. I bet you do not feel that way, do you?
Wendy: “No, I really do enjoy kite flying. I do not think it is worthless. But I can set aside some time to pursue baseball and tennis as well.
Freddy: “Ya, it is not like you have to give up one for the other. Why do you want to have your own kite?”
Wendy: “Well, it was great flying your kite together but I feel bad having to share your kite. If I have my own kite, we can fly our kites together and it would be different. I want to create my own experience, my experience with you, and our experience.”
Freddy: “That is an interesting perceptive. Well, I am glad that it wasn't because you didn't want to spend time with me. “
Wendy: “No, absolutely not. I think we will have more fun if I have my own kite. So, I was thinking why not build a kite?”
Freddy: “Awesome idea. I don't know how to build one. Let's ask our friends.”
Freddy and Wendy asked their friends for help but no one knew how to build a kite. One of his friends suggested to post a message on an online help forum. So, Freddy posted the following message:
Attention Kite Fliers!
We are Freddy and Wendy. We love kite flying.
We are sharing a kite.
Wendy will like to have her very own kite.
Unfortunately, we only have $6 and cannot buy a kite.
We want to build a kite and hope someone can help us.
Please send us any suggestions.
Soon Freddy and Wendy received many different ideas. Some of them were:
Go to the toy store and ask the store manager for help. (Unfortunately, the store manager only knew how to sell kites.)
Use materials that you can find at home to build it. (It did not work.)
Give me your $6 and I will build it for you. (Perhaps this might work.)
Exchange your kite for 2 of my old kites. (Freddy could not forgo his kite.)
Find ways to get more money so that you can buy a kite. (Possible? But this might take a longer time.)
Freddy: “Let's go with the third option and pay Jason to build a kite.”
Wendy: “But I want to build a kite.”
Freddy: “Why bother when we can just get one?”
Wendy: “Well...I checked the prices of the materials and it will come up to $15. I am not sure why Jason will do it for only $6.”
Freddy: “I am sure he is resourceful.”
Wendy: “I think we should learn how to build a kite. Let's post another message. This time targeting kite builders.”
Freddy agreed and revised the message.
Attention Kite Builders!
We are Freddy and Wendy. We love kite flying.
We are sharing a kite.
Wendy will like to have her very own kite.
Unfortunately, we only have $6 and cannot buy a kite.
If you have ever built a kite, please help us.
Please send us any suggestions.
Once again, Freddy and Wendy received many replies. These were some of the responses:
It would cost you $25. $6 won't do the trick
Give me your $6 and run some errands. Then, I will build you a kite
I will build it for free.
Freddy: “Olivia offered to build it for free.”
Wendy: “Isn't that too good to be true? I do not trust her.”
Freddy: “I chatted with her. She is just a nice old lady who wants to help. She has built kites before. She does not expect anything in return. Besides, we are not doing anything against the laws or our moral values. As long as we are not taking advantage her, we should be fine.”
Wendy unwillingly agreed and contacted Olivia. Weeks went by and it was time for Wendy to collect her kite.
When Wendy saw the kite, she frown and said: “This looks terrible. I told you I wanted sky blue. This is dark blue. And the kite is flimsy. I don't want it.”
Olivia, shocked at Wendy's reaction, replied: “Young lady, do not be rude. I did the very best I could.”
Wendy: “You did nothing at all. I knew it was too good to be true. This is so ugly even if it is free I do not want it.”
Wendy threw the kite on the ground and stomped out. Freddy, taken aback by the outburst, went after her.
Freddy: “Why are you so mad?”
Wendy: “The kite was horrifyingly ugly. It is all your fault. You tricked me into working with Olivia. I did not trust her right from the start.”
Freddy: “MY FAULT? You are the one who needed a kite. Not me!”
Wendy: “Yes and we should be building it.”
Freddy: “I was just trying to help you. Well, you can build your kite without me!”
Freddy ran back home crying.
Freddy: “Mum was right. I should not have help her. Wendy is so ungrateful. I do not need a friend like her.”
Father: “To help Wendy you have to listen to what she was trying to tell you. To listen is to hear, acknowledge the information, and then take the information into consideration. Right from the start, all Wendy wanted was to build a kite. Her main purpose was to have more fun by flying her own kite with you. Her solution to attain this purpose was to build a kite.”
“I looked at your online messages. If you are unclear of your focus, you will not target the right group of people. Hence, you will be overwhelmed with unwanted opportunities. You will be tempted to pursue something that deviates from the main purpose. It is pointless to hop on a good opportunity when it is not what you want. You will just be wasting your time and energy.”
“You thought that you were helping. However, Wendy did not see it that way. Unfortunately, instead of being assertive and telling you what she really wanted, she chose to go along with your suggestion. If you let other people control where you are going, then you should not blame them when you end up at the wrong destination.”
“We must learn to say no. Saying no gives us the power to choose what we want to give our attention to. When we choose to focus on certain actions and ideas, we are projecting our interests and attention on them.”
“Wendy did not trust Olivia. Without trust, it becomes more difficult to communicate well. Without trust, you may not appreciate a person's work or see how you can work together to achieve what you want.”
“You failed to listen to Wendy and Wendy failed to express herself firmly. This simple miscommunication ultimately led to this huge fight. There are ups and downs in a relationship. To foster a deep relationship, you have to go through difficulties. It is through healthy and meaningful fights that you will learn about yourself. If you care about Wendy, you cannot just give up this friendship.”
“Right now, you owe it to yourself to forgive yourself and Wendy. Forgive yourself and be accountable for your past actions. Forgive Wendy but understand only she can be accountable for her own actions. Do not expect her to make amendments just because you forgive her.”
“Apologize and talk to Wendy. If she treasures this friendship, she will learn to forgive herself and forgive you too. If she does not, then have grace and forgive such ignorance and move on.”
Freddy nodded in agreement and went to apologize to Wendy. Wendy forgave Freddy and acknowledged that she was in the wrong too. They refocused and revised their online message.
Attention Kite Teachers!
We are Freddy and Wendy. We love kite flying.
We are sharing a kite.
Wendy will like to have her very own kite.
Unfortunately, we can't afford to buy a kite.
We would like to build one.
If you know how to build a kite, please teach us.
Please send us any suggestions.
This time, they received numerous responses from many teachers. Some wanted to be paid while others offered free advice. Freddy and Wendy were swarmed with choices and were not sure who they should learn from. Frustrated, Freddy talked to his parents.
Mother: “Beware of people who give freely. They have ulterior motives. People are selfish and greedy. They are willing to lose as long as they could gain more. With $6 you cannot get much. Money can only go so far.”
Father: "First of all do not assume. Do not generalize. It is true that there are some people who would take advantage of you. But not everyone is out to get you.”
“Before asking for help, you must first ask yourself - what is the purpose of you learning how to build a kite? Understand the underlying reasons. Do not lie to yourself. Be real and authentic.”
“When finding a teacher, share this true purpose. The right teachers will push you towards the right path. Some people are good at heart and some are not. You will never really know. All you can do is to be yourself. Open up and be willingly to trust. Be truly genuine and have a passion for learning.”
“Realize that it is not only about what you learn, it is also about how you learn. Personalize your knowledge. Improve your learning process. Translate your knowledge from one subject to another.”
“Even if you doubt your abilities or are uncertain of the future, give your attention to every learning opportunity. Allocate your effort and time wisely, and know when to stop and switch to another learning opportunity.”
“When learning, seek with clarity. Do not assume a teacher’s abilities and motivations. It is perfectly fine to have certain judgments. But support your judgments with substantial information. Verify what was said. Observe the actions behind the words. Understand the reasons behind the actions. Do not expect people to give you all the help and do not expect them to guide you all the way.”
Freddy's father then took a piece of paper and wrote the following:
Father: “This will help you to make better decisions and to think of ways to change your course of actions. Good and bad judgments refers to the core underlying purpose. Once you have established that, you will move a step further asking what are possible the good and bad outcomes. Let me illustrate using an example.”
Father: “Ask yourself if it is a good judgment or a bad judgment? If it is good, then what should you do to prevent bad good judgment from happening and what should you do to achieve good good judgment.”
Father: “If it is a good bad judgment, ask yourself what are the odds of that happening? If the odds are high, then go ahead but only if you are willingly to change your purpose."
Father: "Let me show you another example."
Father: “Once you have made a decision, you must be committed. Your actions must honor your purpose. Now, even if you were foolish to trust the insincere or to commit to a path that you were blindsided to, it is OK as long as you stop and change. You are not back to the starting point because you are actually changing your course. I would rather that you pick a teacher, pick a path, get hurt, failed, and learn to change, than to hesitate, worry, and not move forward.”
“With money, you can purchase materials as well as a person's labor and time. A skillful person would require less time and effort. I advise you to find a skillful person that already has the materials, and his/her effort and time is already made possible either by himself/herself or by someone else.”
Freddy shared what he learned with Wendy.
Wendy: “Your dad is right. We should stop analyzing whether a teacher is good or not and just start learning. Your mother is right too. We only have $6 and can only do so much. Why don't we learn from everyone that was willingly to teach us for free?”
Freddy: “That's is a good idea. We will do that. We will dip our toes in the water.”
For the next few days, Freddy and Wendy learned that:
People who built great kites might not be the best teachers.
People who were not into kite flying, for instance physicists and engineers, could offer different insights.
People rarely shared every single detail. Intertwining details together from different sources might help.
Opinions and facts were frequently jumbled together. Checking the source of the information might be useful.
Helpful people might not offer the best or correct solutions. There were no bad advice, just advice that required improvisation. Regardless, it was important to thank everyone's help.
Although Freddy had this pool of information, it still did not help him or Wendy. Freddy felt very frustrated and unhappy.
One day in school, Freddy accidentally bumped into the principal, Mr Walsh.
Mr Walsh: “What is the matter, Freddy?”
Freddy: “I am sorry, Mr Walsh. I have this problem.”
Freddy then went on to explain the whole situation.
Mr Walsh: “Freddy, you have gathered so much information yet you are still finding someone to give you the solution. If you keep thinking about the details, you are not doing it. If you keep thinking about building a kite, then you are not building it. Stop asking and realize that you have to be in action and try things out. If you have not touch any material or piece anything together, how could you expect to build a kite?”
“Learning more and gathering more information might not help you. It is not the amount of time spent on accumulating knowledge, it is the quality of knowledge that matters. All the advice you received is useful but some of them may be useless in your current context. You have to remove the clutter to see clearer. Simplify and reduction will help.”
“Also, it seems like you are over-analyzing. Stop seeking for that one perfect solution. Solutions are not easy to figure out but they are usually simple. Now, go find Mr Art, the Grade 8 Art teacher. Tell him I send you and he will help you.”
And so, Freddy went off to find Mr Art.
Mr Art: “I am not a kite expert. I am not a kite flier, nor a kite builder or a kite teacher. I did built some kites ten years ago. Frankly, I do not remember how to do it but with all the information you got, I believe we can figure it out. Besides, we have all these materials in this art room at our disposal.”
Because Mr Art was no kite expert, he was opened to try out many ideas. They created many different types of kites, and constantly accessed, modified, and tested the kites out in the school field.
Freddy learned that designing was part of building. Materials and kite designs affected feasibility, durability, and flexibility. He also discovered that decorating such as painting and drawing was a great way to personalize his very own kites.
Eventually, Mr Art and Freddy figured out the fundamentals of a good kite. Armed with that knowledge, Freddy built a few simple kites.
Freddy: “Mr Art, thank you so much for helping me. Look, I have built some kites. I am going to show them to Wendy and teach her how to build a kite.”
Mr Art: “Hold on, the kites that you built are awful. Look at the spines. One is short and the other is long. And the sail of this kite is not sturdy.
Freddy: “But they fly perfectly fine.”
Mr Art: “Freddy, when you get ready for school, do you wear your pajamas or change your clothes?”
Freddy: “I will never wear my pajamas to school. I want to look presentable.”
Mr Art: “What's wrong with pajamas? Just like what you said. They are clothes and are perfectly fine.”
Freddy: “That is a different issue. This is about how I look.”
Mr Art: “There is no difference. The kites that you built are a representation of you. You might not be the best-looking person in school but you have certain standards. Similarly, you are not building the best kites, but you ought to have certain standards. How can you teach Wendy or anyone else when your own kites are sloppy?”
Freddy realized that it was not about building a kite, it was about building a kite with certain standards. He also learned to appreciate and took good care of his kites. By doing so, he developed a sense of pride in building, decorating, and flying kites.
Freddy took a few days to fix his kites. Then, he proudly showed them to Wendy and taught her how to build and decorate her very own kite. With their new kites, Freddy and Wendy enjoyed many kite flying adventures together.